"Loose Him and Let Him Go!" | Rev. Kenneth E. Hagin |. *(Copyright Prote...

"Loose Him and Let Him Go!" | Rev. Kenneth E. Hagin |. *(Copyright Prote...

The Last Days- Prophecy- Prayer - Providence- Purpose

  My heart had a familiar cry today. One that I have tucked away, buried, let dry out and ignored. I wrote a poem today expressing how I was feeling. There are things in this life that are not easily explained. Those explanations are even more difficult to express when trying to explain Spiritual Things in a Natural World. Those explanations become almost impossible to utter when trying to explain spiritual things, to people who should understand spiritual things, yet don't seem to understand them any better than those without The Spirit Of Truth.

 I don't say that to put anyone down, or lift myself up. It is just a truth that I have lived for many years. It isn't about who is more spiritual or is closer to God. Trust me, I do not place myself in any high seat of spirituality or knowledge. There are times I wish I didn't know what I know and don't see what I see. I think sometimes it must be easier to not know any better. I mean there are whole Christian Movements that find comfort in their error. They find family in their almost cult like groups. Cult may not be the best word , but some movements are so far removed from The Truth and The Gospel it may be the best word to describe them. Having said that , many of them Love Jesus in the knowledge they have and have found family and comfort in their beliefs.

 On the other hand I wonder about all those who are right on and are fulfilling The Great Commission. They are sound in doctrine and practice. Yet my heart goes out to them as well. It seems even they are "missing" something. Why do I say that? Well, because The Word says that The Lord would perform certain signs and wonders to confirm The Words of The Gospel and except for a spattering here and there, there are very few of those signs confirming our words. How are we to see that? 

 I know all the text book answers. I know all the theological theories. I know that they all have truth in them and are not without validity. However, none of them give my spirit peace as being THE TRUTH. Why is it even in faith filled, spirit filled, bible believing churches, far more believers die of diseases that require a miracle than live? Is it that God doesn't hear our prayers. When believer after believers dies from cancer, heart disease or viruses, and very few get healed in a way that The Word tells us that we should expect, shouldn't that cause us to stop and ponder it?

When child after child dies even after the prayers of their parents and church bombard heaven , shouldn't that bother us? Shouldn't that cause us to hunger and thirst? When our brothers and sisters remain bound by mental illness, addiction and oppression even after doing all they know to do, shouldn't it break our heart. Yet many times we assume they are just not strong enough, don't have enough faith, weren't as committed to God as they seemed. If they just loved God more and were more committed, right? Let me say as somebody who has been there and still struggles with things I don't understand, we have to be very, very careful with such judgement, spoken or unspoken. 

 What about the lost and those captive in The Kingdom of Darkness. The multitudes totally blinded and deceived without any powerful witnesses and ambassadors of The Kingdom to pull them from the darkness. Again, we have a small measure of success, but we have not seen a real Outpouring of The Gospel in Power and Demonstrations of The Spirit for almost a century in this nation. I don't count massive gatherings of Christians gathering for famous speakers and  musicians as a Gospel Outpouring. Especially ones that charge a ticket price.

All these things can be summarized like this:

 There are people who will never be healed until they come in contact with the raw, un-quenched Power and Love of God and it may not be in their hands to make that happen. There are parents who are crying out for healing for their children who will not have their prayers answered for their dying child until The Body of Christ steps into her place. There are thousand, possibly tens of thousands of Christians that will remain bound and oppressed until The Body cares enough and grows enough to bring healing to them. Like the friends who lowered the man through Peters roof. There are Pastors in poor nations that will continue to watch their flocks starve and suffer early preventable deaths until The Western Church and Wealthy Pastors humble themselves and live a simple life so they can flow their hundreds of millions toward our suffering family. 

 It is my hearts cry and belief that there is much suffering because the hand is indeed saying to the foot, I really have no need of thee. I am wealthy and comfortable . I am favored of God and obviously since you are not living your best life now, you are not. I have the double portion, Jabez anointing, so I deserve to live in luxury while you starve. I have no need of thee. Remember, it is not only sin to commit sin, but to take pleasure and honor those who do such things. Selah.

  My heart breaks for the pain I see. My heart breaks even more that much of it is because we as The Church have not taken our place and are distracted by so many things. Entertained by so many things. Deceived by so many things. I cant explain fully what I mean. I just know that much of the suffering we see does not have to be that way. I know we have allowed enemy after enemy to come into our lives and churches to kill steal and destroy and chalked it up to many of the things I stated above. We just don't know, they didn't have the faith, part of Gods mystery, they were weak, it was Gods will..etc.

I tried to stay away from this path of thinking. I was content with just leaving it behind. I was settled with the thought, if God wants a change, well He will have to do it. Yet, He wouldn't let me drop it. Am I saying He agrees with everything I have said here, absolutely not.  Am I saying "THUS SAYETH THE LORD-YOU ARE  ALL IN ERROR". Oh my goodness no. I am just saying we need to be made hungry and thirsty again. We need to feel the suffering of the body and declare The Kingdom of Heaven to The World. We have to count all things lost for the Gospel and not quench The Spirit no matter how it will change others perspective of us.  We must tell the world Christ is coming soon and tell them what that means and who HE is. We must join with The Body of Christ across the planet and care for each other with The Love of Christ!

  There is much work to be done in prayer. There are many things to be prayed in The Spirit. I know what The Lord has been telling me and I have not been obedient. The time of delay is over. The time of just floating is over. The time of building personal kingdoms and cruise ships is over. It is time to march in prayer and faith. Time to build His Kingdom and build Great Supply Ships manned with Ambassadors of Christ.

My poem from today

My spirit man is groaning like a wanderer in a dry and weary land!

I long and thirst to see His Glory, expressed on earth, through His Outstretched Hand!

My heart strains under the burden of the bound and broken!

Crying out for a release of His Power and Love, like when demons fled from just a WORD being Spoken!

Bogged down by the empty words of the babbling lips!

I sail toward His Light, like a tossed and turned ship!

Lord HEAR the Prayers spoken by every shout, sigh and groan!

I shall seek you, unwavered , until The Answer is Released from Your Throne!

Testimony - Praying-Crying-Preparing In The Darkenss

I want to share with you a testimony about a period of time in my life that I call The Dark Years. I pray The Holy Spirit speaks to you, not only to help you, but to help you help others. I am sharing a small portion of my story that goes back to when I was a toddler. The roots of some of what I am sharing were planted then.

 From about 1997 - 2000 I was in a very intense place. I was operating in a very strong spiritual place, but at the same time I was living a white knuckle, highly intense false freedom from some long standing oppression. It was as if I was in a drug like focus that I thought was the anointing and freedom, but learned it was something else completely.

 A lot transpired during this time and there were many pressures from a lost job, to health issues with my wife, to some other very personal issues I will not mention here.  No matter what I went through my thinking was, I am not acting out in the sin I once did, so I am okay. I was on edge, my temper was on a hair trigger, I was in pain almost all the time, but hey I was about to graduate Discipleship Training, and I am not stopping. 

 I can not effectively describe the level of intensity of the stress and anxiety I entered into around the year 2000. I took a job that I was not built for as an armed guard and couldn't handle the stress of it. I was getting very little sleep. My system was constantly on edge. I was running on adrenaline 24/7 and that cant last . 

 The stress and anxiety were so bad that I had almost constant pains in my ribs and kidney area. I cried bitterly often. I had little control of my emotions, anger began to express itself regularly.

 One night I gave in to the old sin and from there I began to slide. I want you to understand that I wept at the alter many times. I cried out for help many times. I sat in church month after month, year after year in so much internal stress and physical pain I lost hope.

 One night , I walked to The Alter, knelt down, and told The Lord:

"I am sorry, I cant do this anymore."

 As I walked away form the Alter. Pastor Bob Carter stopped me and said "Randy you are a good man". I smiled as to say, sorry it is too late. Shortly after that I entered The Dark years that lasted from 2000-2006.

 It was during this time that I began drinking again, smoking again and engaging again in the sins that I found comfort in since I was very young. I was also working 3rd shift and was basically sleep deprived for the better part of a decade, but that is a longer story. The depth of the darkness I fell into in my soul caused me to feel such shame.

 I hid the pain well. I wasn't acting out in blow ups as much toward those I loved the most, but my addiction to sin grew deeper and deeper. It not only met, but surpassed the sin I came out of when I began attending church around 1993. I was heading toward an abyss that, but for The Grace of God I would not have escaped from.

One night after engaging in the sin I was oppressed and addicted to,  I felt as if I was on the edge of Gods Grace. I began to cry out to God.

 "Please Lord don't let me die in this. Please Lord I want to be free. Protect me until I can find my way out". 

 This I believe was a cry in the darkness because I realized I was beginning to lose sight of the light. I felt in my soul that the way back was closing, the light was dimming, hope of restoration was dying. This prayer was repeated countless time over the next few years. Then things began to turn. I began to see a way back again. This is the main point of this article.

To begin to stand up and move toward the light, even as darkness is trying to hold you in its evil grip. 

 I will say around 2003-2004 , The Lord began to draw me out of the darkness. I began to pray in the spirit more, I began to listen to sermons more. I was still drinking, still sinning, still acting out, but something had changed. It was as if Gods Grace came in a new way in my life. I began to see the path even though I was not actively following it.  I was still bitter, I still didn't want to go back to church, I still had a lot of shame, but I did begin to to sense the leading of The Lord.

 I fought it a bit. I was hurting in many ways. However then The Lord turned it up some more in interesting ways. 

 A spirit filled believer began working Night Audit in the hotel I was working. I felt the Holy Spirit in her and upon her. She didn't try and convince me to return, she didn't preach to me, but I could here her at times praying in The Spirit regularly. 

 Then another person was hired on that was a daughter of a new minister at The Church I left and God was drawing me back to. I  found myself in a position to defend her and The Church I was avoiding going back to.  That stirred in me a even more intense desire to pray in The Spirit.

Around November of 2005 . A spirit of prayer fell upon me and rose up within me. More on that in a moment, that will bring us to the end of this article.

Before I get into that let me point out that this was a 6 year period. There were many things that happened in life during this period I cant share here. I am not sharing specifics on purpose, not because I am ashamed of my story, but because I don't want that to become your focus.  

 I prayed thousands, probably tens of thousands of prayers from 1993-2006 from very dark, hard oppressed places. I focus on this six year period because the night I cried out to God not to let me die in this place, something broke. Nothing changed naturally. However from that night on I began to move toward the dimming light.

No matter how dark a place you may be in, there is hope. No matter how many times you have fallen you must get up again. No matter what the sin is you have fallen into or the shame you feel, you can rise up, be washed by His Blood and stand before Him unashamed. 

Now to bring this to an end. 

November 2005 something exploded in me. It was like The Holy Spirit grabbed me and put me in a place of intense prayer. Honestly it was so intense I didn't like it at times. I feared falling back into the white knuckle life like I shared earlier. But that didn't happen. I began to pray fervently all night at work. I marched in snow storms praying and crying. I walked miles and miles every night walking the property at work. 

I was still drinking, but quit smoking. My drinking become more controlled and I began to slowly pull away form the sins that easily beset me, but was still engaging. From November 2005 to February of 2006 I lost 50+ pounds from walking and praying.  

 In February 2006 we took a cruise and although I was drinking a lot of beer on the cruise, I was stirred in The Spirit. As I walked the Islands the gifts in me stirred. As we approached Dominica I could see in the spirit a haze of poverty over it.  I prayed under my breath as we toured the island. Before we got on the ship I was overcome and I knelt down ,placed my hand on the ground and claimed it for Christ. 

 When I stood up, I knew I had done something that was off. I felt something hit my stomach. When we returned from the trip. I began to have some symptoms that lasted for about a year, but peaked in about 6 months. That will have to be another article about authority and jurisdiction.

 Late March-Early April 2006:  

 I was sitting on my couch on a Friday night. I was probably about to open a beer and like a loud speaker in my soul I heard:

" GO BACK NOW" 

 I thought to myself ummm nope. However, it was a call that arrested me, it was as if my spirit man was being built the whole time and God had brought me to a place, unknown to me, that when He said "GO BACK NOW", I would.

 I got up, got dressed and went to church. What followed was divine appointment after divine appointment. A long period of purging and cleansing. Years of intense prayer and learning.  Supernatural moves of God in my body and soul. It was both intensely powerful and honestly intensely painful at times, as the root of all the darkness was exposed and dealt with. A process that is still going today.

 I look back now and see all the prayers I prayed while still in darkness were preparing me for the moment God said "GO BACK NOW" . All the cries, all the letters I wrote, all the intercession I found myself engaging in even as I was far from the church and people I was praying for, all of it was to prepare me for that day. All of it was preparing me for this day.

 My hearts cry for you is to pray no matter what. Seek His face no matter what. 

 To end I will repeat what I said above and add this. The time to believe fully is now. You don't have to wait to get so far from the light that you begin to lose sight of it. 

GO FOR IT NOW! 
BELIEVE NOW! 
GO BACK NOW! 
TITHE NOW! 
LOVE NOW! 
PRAY FOR THAT PERSON NOW! 
SEND THAT LETTER NOW! 
CALL THAT PERSON NOW! 
PREACH THAT MESSAGE NOW! 
HELP THAT PERSON NOW! 
BELIEVE NOW! 
START SERVING NOW! 

 No matter how dark a place you may be in, there is hope. No matter how many times you have fallen you must get up again. No matter what the sin you have fallen into or the shame you feel, you can rise up, be washed by His Blood and stand before Him unashamed. 

GIVE IT EVERYTHING YOU HAVE NOW!

A.R. Bernard | Recovering from COVID-19 | Christian Cultural Center

I believe this is the most important interview of our day. The Lord is speaking in a very deep way through this mighty man of Gods life and experience.