"Do You Believe You Love Them More than I Do"

"Do You Believe You Love Them More than I Do"

As I was in a place of prayer and devotion the other day, this picture kept coming up in my heart. I love this picture. For those who may not know me, it is of my grandson and myself. It captured a moment in time that I will always hold dear. I love my grandchildren with all me heart. They are such a blessing. This picture, for me, holds thousands of words and goes deeper than I can explain here. 

My wife, children and grandchildren are dear to my heart. I love them with every part of my being and would give them the world if I could. This picture speaks that to me. I would give my life for this little guy. I would destroy anything or anyone that tried to harm him if it were in my power to do so. I feel the same about my wife, my sons, and my granddaughter. 

As I prayed, read my devotional and thought about this picture, I heard The Lord ask me: 

 "Do You Believe You Love Them More than I Do"

I kind of ignored the question at first because I knew in my heart, my answer didn't line up with The Truth about The Lord and His love for us all. The Lord  knows our hearts so it doesn't do much good hiding things from Him. Trying to hide the thoughts and our unspoken beliefs about Him will only weaken our faith in Him. However, being open, honest and exposing  the lying whispers in our hearts by giving voice to them, will open a much needed dialogue between The Lord and ourselves. A dialogue that He wants to use to set us free from the lies we have allowed to haunt the shadows of our soul.

So again He asked :

"Do You Believe You Love Them More than I Do"

 I have engaged in conversation about this question with The Lord in the past. This time however it was the picture above that The Lord used to get to the core of my struggle with this question. He was just looking for me to be honest. He wasn't looking for the answer that I knew was right. He wasn't looking for the theologically correct answer. He wasn't looking for the answer that would preach well. He was looking for the answer that punched me in the gut when I heard the question and thought about the picture. 

There is a longer story that led to this moment in time. A story of trauma, pain and disappointment. But, also a story of joy, strength, power and a deep empathy for those who are suffering and/or persecuted. So, this was definitely a question both God and I  knew the answer to.  

As I began to open up to The Lord and yield to His will for us to discuss this again, I started off by regressing a bit. I made a couple of jokes, acted like it was no big deal and tried to minimize the question and the pain I was feeling in my soul over answering the question.

Finally, I opened up. I am just giving an overview of what I said , not a verbatim record of the conversation. I heard the question reverberate again in my soul:

"Do You Believe You Love Them More than I Do"

Lord, what do you want me to say? You know my struggle with this. I know you love them more than I do but I don't understand that in my soul. I would never let anything hurt him (looking at this picture above) . If anyone dared to even threaten to hurt him they would know what that look on my face means. I love this little boy more than anything , no one will ever hurt him. So Lord I do not understand how you can love them more than me. I understand you cant strike every person who does wrong with lightening, but my love for this little guy, could never, ever watch on while somebody hurt him, either by accident or on purpose. If I had your power, omnipotence and angelic armies then my wife, children and grandchildren would never, ever be harmed and the enemy would be destroyed before he ever came close to them.  Lord I cant imagine watching somebody walk in my house, harm my wife or children and not doing all that is in my power to stop them. 

 So, Lord I know you do love them more than I do, but I don't understand that kind of love. My love for this little boy would rise up and guard him for anything that would harm him, in anyway.  

 Just speaking these things out loud in an open dialogue with The Lord has been so helpful to me. I know some who are reading this are probably ready to tell me all the textbook answers to these questions. I know them all. It isn't about knowing or not knowing the answers sometimes. Sometimes it is about knowing the scriptural, theological, and eternally true answers, but also understanding that God is okay with us not being able to grasp those truths fully on this side of glory.  Even Jesus used parables that are true in an eternal sense, however do not always hold true for us on this earth, in this age. 

 For instance, Jesus said what Father would give his son a serpent when he asked for bread. If you being evil know how to give good things to your children, how much more does your Father in heaven want to give good things to you. Paraphrased. 

 We receive that by faith for sure. But, how many of us have asked our Father in heaven for things dear to us, and it did indeed seem like we received a serpent instead of bread. How many have ask for healing for a loved one to see them struggle for years. How many have stood in faith for a spouse with cancer and instead of seeing healing they had to bury them much to young. How many prayed for protection over a child to see them killed in a horrible accident, or some in other nations watch them starve to death or killed by a terrorist. 

 A glance at the percentage of Christians who are healed of uncurable diseases to how many die from them when they are attacked by something like and aggressive cancer, would seem to show that the parable of Jesus is not true. It would be easy for our soul to be hurt, hardened and scarred to a point we know The Word is true, but our soul cant "see" that it is true. 

 Our spirit knows That The Lord loves us dearly and beyond measure, but there is a room in our soul that we keep our doubts and hard questions for Him hidden away. Our spirit knows He is Good and His Word is unshakable but since our souls have endured so much, and our empathetic hearts have absorbed so much pain, we sometimes place all that into this locked room of our soul. 

 Our human hearts see the parable of Jesus and apply that to ourselves as Mothers, Fathers, Husbands and Wives. Like I mentioned above, what Natural Father would allow a much weaker , easily defeated enemy walk into his home and harm his family. Look at the picture again, how to you think I would react to somebody trying to touch this little boy?? Do you think anyone could harm him in my presence? How fast and undeniable would I make the intruder realize he made a very bad decision? There is nothing in me that could allow a child to be harmed. Sometimes adults open themselves up, but a child is innocent and precious. 

 It just makes sense, Jesus said, you being "evil" know how to give good things to your children how much MORE does your Fathers in heaven want to give you good things. Ask and you shall receive. Anyone who is honest can see , this parable does not ring true in many cases today that require a miraculous intervention of God.

So what do we do? Well we walk by faith right? We hold to the truth That God is Good and His mercy endures forever. We hold fast to the promises of God. We declare Him to be true and every man and circumstance a lie that challenges Him and His Word.  

 We , like Abraham, consider not our own situation, but we strengthen ourselves in faith as we give glory to God knowing all that He has promised He will also perform. We walk by faith and not by sight. We do not let what we feel or see move us off our stand of faith. We declare His word, we endure temptation, trials and tribulation. We determine that we know that Faith is the substance of the things we are hoping for, believing for and standing for in His promises. We determine that Faith is the evidence that we have those things even if we do not see them.  

  Our doubts , fears, pain and past trauma do not have to negate our faith. Being honest about what we are seeing around us, or even being troubled by the lack of answered prayers around us, do not have to put a wedge between The Lord and us. Recognizing the areas of our mind and soul that may even struggle with Gods ways and will, does not make us ,in any way, disqualified to be mighty warriors of faith. On the contrary, these things can be the very things that make us strong in Faith and mighty in Intercession. 

 I want to encourage you in this: Some of the mightiest men and women of God had struggles in the flesh and mind. Many were "driven"  to press in because they were  disturbed by the amount of unanswered prayers they noticed in The Church. Some openly said that it troubled them to see how people were prayed for over and over only to see most never get healed. They recognized the gap between the promises of God and what was being realized in The Body of Christ and in the earth. What they did not do, once they determined to believe God fully, is make excuses for the lack of answered prayers and power in The Church. 

Many of these men and women wept greatly and regularly in prayer for what they saw and felt. Many prayed in ways few ever had up to their time on earth. Many seemed extreme by their contemporary counterparts that couldn't understand the passion that led them and the fire that burned in them. They caught something in The Spirit and they were set apart to face the "stuff" others could not or would not, so Gods dominion could be established through The Gospel and The Name of Jesus Christ. 

 In doing so, God used them to perform mighty signs and wonders in the view of all. The Lord used them to set the course of nations and change history in ways we will not know in this side of eternity. 

I believe we are now in one of those times in History. We are about to reveal The Father God through The Power and Love of The Full Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

Now when I look at this picture and I hear the question that once caused me to hide all my stuff in the junk room of my soul,  I can smile and answer honestly and with Joy. 

 Lord I know you love them far more than I do! I trust you. I rest my head on your chest knowing that you love me so much and just want me to rest on you so I can hear your heartbeat and receive from your Spirit. I trust you with all that I love. You are my strong defender and the defender of those whom I hold dear. 

To the reader:

Spend time everyday in this place of abiding on the Fathers chest and in His Love. He does care for you and all you love. Even if you have suffered some of the things I mentioned above, and have past trauma, let His Spirit bring peace to your heart and healing to your soul.

 He knows all, sees all and deeply cares for you all. This is the place of healing. This is the place of strength. This is the place, even the mightiest men and women of faith had to spend time in, in order to live a life of faith and strength. Right here, like a child, resting in the Fathers Heart for them.