Fall Back To Rest
Well this is one of those post that will be really revealing on my part. The title of this post says it all. There are times we have to stop, chill, wait and fall back to a place of rest. When I say fall back I mean fall back. Like a trust fall when a person falls back and trust the person behind them to catch them. Sometimes we have to STOP in our tracks and fall back into the restful hands of God. We need to stop pressing, stop fretting, stop trying to fix it, make it, force it and cause it to happen No matter what "it" may be.
Now I will tell you where this post came from. I was at work yesterday, having a really bad day. I had just came off a very stressful and disappointing week, for reasons I cant mention in this post. Last week was just a heavy, troubling and draining week, both spiritually and naturally. I took a day off Friday hoping to reset, get out in nature and rest. But, thanks to some circumstances out of my control, I returned to work yesterday with little energy or margins to deal with the mess.
The day was busy and stressful from the start. An employee quit without notice and even after she asked to recant her resignation, she called and said she was quitting anyway. I was not feeling well, it was very busy, it was a perfect storm.
Oh, and the mail machine, that is the most important piece of equipment we have, was not connecting to the network. This is where I should have stepped back and reset. But, if I would have done that, I wouldn't be writing this post. I had a tech come in, and his diagnosis was it needed a new board, so it would be down a couple days and he couldn't even add postage because his laptop went down.
At this point, I was done. I was determined to try everything to get it connected. I knew I should just leave it alone, but I was so aggravated I didn't want to deal with not having a machine.
I had made arrangements to get the mail processed, so it would have been a good time to just leave it alone, wait for the tech the next day and allow the process to run its coarse. But, I was ticked and was going to try everything to at least get a line through so I could add postage. As long as we have money on the machine, we can run without a connection. So I decided to try and move the machine on to a cart and take it where there was an analog phone line.
The meter part of the machine disconnected and crashed to the ground. It was loud, it bounced and it really broke. I stood there looking at it like I was in a trance. An adjuster came in to be sure I was okay. It was not good. I wish I would have just left it alone. I wish I would have just let it be instead of being so driven to make it work, to fix it.
Now, I tried to make myself feel better by saying it needed a new board anyway. Which was true, or, was it? Noooo, because about 30 minutes later an IT representative called and said he found out why we couldn't connect. He could fix it remotely and get us connected. Yup, it didn't need a new board. I had to tell him the machine has already been ordered because the keypad was broken, and a couple other things. I didn't mention why..lol.
Oh the lesson would have been learned there, but, nooooooo. Today I came in, and, wonder of wonders, the machine was all connected, working and good to go. Well it would have been, but, well you know what happened, crashing, breaking, etc.
Now, here is what The Lord spoke to me today as I walked on break. So many times in life and our walk with Him, we get into that place. That place where life,circumstances, people and yes the devil have us upset, angry, frustrated and at the end of our patience.
In these times it is so important to fall back into His rest. We have to stop pressing, stop forcing and stop trying to fix everything and just drop into His Faithful Arms. To keep forcing things with a white knuckle determination to make circumstances or people change, often times will cause us to mess up what God already has planned.
I have done this on a huge scale concerning my walk with The Lord and my growth in The Church. I don't condemn myself, because at the time, it seemed like my only option to move forward and become what I know in my heart I am called to do. But , like with my postage machine, I was pushing and pressing, fighting and fretting, there was no peace, no sense of real direction, just a driven idea that I will fix this on my own. When all along God had a perfect plan that I was blinded to.
The Lord spoke to my heart several times today the words of the title above. Fall back into my rest. My mind began to spin again about how can I escape this place, how can I get on a team that I have seen in my heart. Where is the promise I have seen in my heart.
When? Where? How? Help! Why? Again I heard, fall back into my rest. Let the questions go and rest in faith that I have it under control. Then of coarse the mind says. Lord it has been decades, can we speed it up a bit. Fall back into my rest. Peace, all is well.
The Lord will not compete with our self drive and fretting. He is not obligated to answer our questions asked out of frustration and anxiety. He wants us to rest in Him. To lay the questions and the need to know now, fix it now, deliver us now, aside and just say, Lord, I trust you. Let thy will be done.
Now before you are to hard on yourself or me. Remember Jesus in The Garden. He came to that place, in a way we never have to, yet He to had to take all of that anguish and sweat, and fall back into The Fathers rest. Let Thy Will Be DONE.